Just A Kiss Page 17

  So as the lights on Cooper’s door handle turned green and he held the door open expectantly, Victoria took a step in the opposite direction.

  “Victoria? What’s going on?”

  Cooper let the door slip from his grasp and it click closed once again. Victoria should have known he wouldn’t make this easy on her, but she was determined to stand her ground.

  “Listen I know what we agreed to, but tonight I just want some time to decompress and get some actual sleep. This three or four hours a night stuff just isn’t cutting it.”

  Victoria needed something, anything, to distract her from the look on Cooper’s face in that moment, so she began riffling through her purse to find the key card to her room. When she finally had the piece of plastic in her hand Victoria kept her head down and walked to her room.

  The door clicked open on the first try, but instead of just walking in without a word like she wanted to Victoria lifted her head and turned to Cooper who was leaning awkwardly against his door.

  “Thank you for tonight. It was beautiful.”

  Cooper’s mouth opened quickly like he needed to say something, but just as quickly he closed it. Instead turning around to open his door once again, but just when Victoria thought he was going to slip into his room without a word Cooper spoke without sparing Victoria so much as a glance.

  “Good night, Victoria. Sleep well.” Cooper said dejectedly then he was gone. Just disappeared into his room leaving Victoria alone in the quiet hallway with nothing more than her conflicting thoughts to keep her company.

  On one hand she should be happy she was getting exactly what she wanted. Time alone to figure things out and take a breath. So why did the thought of taking those few steps to go inside her room now seem all wrong?

  The overwhelming urge to knock on Cooper’s door and take back everything she just said was so strong that Victoria quickly went into her room and locked the door. Thoughts and feelings like that were exactly why she needed time to think.

  In the last fifteen years Victoria had depended on one person and one person alone to make her happy. Herself. Falling into the trap of depending on a man to do that for her could only lead down one very dangerous path that ended with Victoria being alone and miserable. Just like her mother. Apparently the thought of being in love and loving someone in return was the key to Victoria’s undoing. Even from the grave Tina Howe was ruining her daughters life.

  “Why?” Victoria yelled into the empty room as tears started to fall one after another down her cheeks. “Why do you continue to torture me? Why?”

  Victoria made her way to the bedroom and collapsed onto her bed just as her crying turned into a full body sob. Fifteen years of pain, sorrow, and anger were all unleashed in an instant with nowhere to go it seemed except out through Victoria’s tear ducts.

  If Victoria thought the other night in San Francisco was her breaking point she had been dead wrong. Every part of her body and soul ached as it finally grieved over what happened to her all those years ago.

  Victoria never made it into a bubble bath that night. Instead she laid awake all night reliving every vivid detail of the night she was attacked for the first time since it happened. Victoria could still smell the stench of alcohol and cigarettes that stayed on her skin for days even after scrubbing her skin raw for hours afterwards. The feeling of being suffocated as he covered her mouth and nose with his hand and swore he would kill her and rape her sister if she didn’t cooperate. The way he smiled when he finished and kissed her cheek as he told her how much she reminded him of her mother.

  That last memory caused Victoria to make a run for the bathroom and lose what little she had eaten at the ballpark earlier. Hearing not only his words but remembering her mother’s reaction the next day made Victoria curl up in a ball on the cold marble floor and wish for a way to turn off the movie in her head.

  ****

  “How dare you lie about something like that!” Tina Howe screamed and landed an open handed smack across Victoria’s left cheek making her skin feel like it was on fire.

  “I’m telling you the truth.” Victoria yelled through her sobs. “Rich raped me last night. He tried to go after Stella, but I…”

  “Liar!” Another smack to the left side of her face, and Victoria was convinced her jaw was dislocated.

  Tina Howe may have been a small woman, but she packed one hell of a right hand. While Victoria was still trying to get her bearings back, her hair was wrapped in a tight fist and she was yanked until she was face to face with her mother. A mix of bad breath and vodka fumes made Victoria work hard to control her gag reflex.

  “Mom, please. You’re hurting me.” Victoria tried to reason with her mother, but Tina only held on tighter. Bringing Victoria closer until they were literally nose-to-nose.

  “Listen here little girl. No man of mine is going to pick your fat sister over me, so whatever you are trying to get out of all of this won’t work. You’re a liar, and no one is going to believe you. If you even try to tell anyone else about this I will throw you out of this house so fast it will make your head spin and I will make sure you don’t see your precious sister again for a very long time.”

  Any and all fight left Victoria in an instant. There was no way she could risk leaving Stella to fend for herself for the next five years. Aside from sleeping with as many men as she could, Tina’s second favorite past time was making sure Stella’s life was as miserable as possible. So although she knew it would mean letting that sick bastard off the hook for what he did, Victoria did the only thing she could. She surrendered.

  “O-okay.” Victoria stammered. “You win. I won’t tell anyone. I swear.”

  “Good.” Tina said before letting go of Victoria’s hair and shoving her away.

  Victoria pulled herself to her feet when her mother delivered the final blow. Only this time using words as her weapon of choice.

  “You may think you are better than everyone else princess, but you will never be better than me. My blood runs through your veins Victoria. You can’t ever escape your fate. Remember that.”

  ****

  And as the sun began to rise the next morning, Victoria carefully pulled herself to her feet with the help of the sink feeling like a newborn calf the whole time and made the three-foot walk to the shower.

  Almost mechanically Victoria went through the motions of showering and getting dressed for the day. When the tears finally subsided, Victoria was left feeling…nothing. Numbness had taken over her mind and body and feeling nothing, Victoria decided, was exactly where she wanted to be.

  So when the mini bar caught her eye as she was putting on her shoes, Victoria made the decision to walk over and pull out two small bottles. One filled with orange juice and one with vodka.

  After finding a glass and mixing up one hell of a strong Screw Driver, Victoria looked toward the floor.

  “I guess you were right all along mom. I’m not any better than you.” And after raising her glass, Victoria downed the citrus cocktail. Barely feeling the burn as she went to refill her glass.

  Yeah, nothing tasted pretty good.

  As Victoria brought the second drink to her lips her phone dinged indicating a new e-mail waiting for her. Torn between escaping into oblivion for a little while and her work, Victoria went with years of experience and she picked up the phone.

  Aside from the usual e-mails from Michelle and clients the one that stuck out was an e-mail from Trina, one of Victoria’s contacts in L.A.

  The subject of the e-mail read ‘RE: JENNA BRINKLEY INFO’, so Victoria clicked on it. With everything else going on Victoria had almost forgotten about the situation involving Cooper’s ex.

  The beginning of the e-mail was pretty standard information. Job title, recent work, and things like that, but as Victoria continued to read the information was both better and worse than she had imagined.

  Any other day Victoria would have used the rational side of her brain to deal with the situation at hand, but today sh
e was running on pure emotion.

  After sending a quick thank you response to Trina, Victoria scrolled through the e-mail once more until she found what she needed. Pausing only long enough to down her second drink, Victoria closed her eyes and tapped the screen. Holding her breath until a female voice came over the line.

  “Los Angeles Times, Jenna speaking.”

  ****

  Chapter 16

  “Coming.” Cooper yelled when there was a knock on his door.

  Placing today’s lineups on the small table near the window, Cooper didn’t bother putting on his shirt because he was pretty sure he knew who was at the door.

  Going to his room alone last night had been one of the hardest things he had ever done because he was positive there was something more on Victoria’s mind than what she said, but he knew when to push her and when to not. If he gave her the space she needed Cooper was sure Victoria would talk to him when it felt right for her and hopefully now was that time for her, but when Cooper opened the door it wasn’t Victoria he saw.

  “Hello Cooper.”

  “J-Jenna.” Cooper cursed his shaky voice, but seeing his ex standing at his door at nine in the morning was something he was not prepared to handle. “What are you doing here?”

  Jenna seemed caught off guard by his question and looked to her left. Cooper followed her line of sight and noticed a shadow standing off to the side.

  Stepping further into the hall, Cooper saw Victoria standing in her door way.

  “I called her.” Victoria said in a sort of matter of fact way, but that wasn’t what caught Cooper’s attention.

  Dark circles surrounded Victoria’s eyes, her skin was pale and even though he couldn’t quite place what it was, Cooper was almost positive he could smell alcohol on her breath.

  “Victoria, what’s going on?” Cooper reached out to touch her arm, but Victoria moved out of reach.

  “We should probably move this conversation inside before we wake the other guests.” Victoria kept her focus on Jenna, refusing to make any sort of eye contact with Cooper, and gestured into his room. “In here would probably be best.”

  Jenna looked between him and Victoria and then back to Cooper, but the confusion on her face had to mirror his own. Cooper had no idea what was going on, but he had a sickening feeling that whatever it was was going to mean the end for him and Victoria.

  Moving aside to allow Jenna entrance, Cooper made sure she was inside before he put is arm across the doorway to block Victoria. If his actions did anything to piss her off Victoria was doing a good job of hiding it as she easily slipped under his arm and into the room without saying a word. It was like she had completely shut down.

  “Look, if this is a bad time…” Jenna started to say from her position near the window, but Victoria quickly waved off her concerns.

  “Not at all. I think the sooner this all gets sorted out the better.” Victoria reassured her then turned to him.

  This was the first time since coming out of her room that Victoria had made direct eye contact with him, and Cooper finally saw everything she had been trying to hide. The life and fire that always shown so brightly in Victoria’s eyes was gone with nothing left but what looked like defeat and sadness.

  Cooper’s first instinct was to wrap her in his arms and hold her until she told him what happened to make her look this way, but Victoria must have read his mind because she quickly threw up every wall that only yesterday had been rubble around her feet.

  “Cooper, I asked Jenna here because she has a few things she needs to discuss with you and I figured doing it now rather than tonight like originally planned was for the best since I won’t be here tonight.”

  “Wait, what?” Cooper’s voice rose slightly, but he couldn’t help it. It seemed like the hits just kept on coming at him this morning. “What do you mean you’re not going to be here?”

  “I talked to Mr. Richards this morning.” Victoria said, refusing once again to look at Cooper directly. “Something has come up and I’m needed back at the salon right away. I’m booked on the noon flight to O’Hare.”

  None of this made any sense. Last night on the hill Cooper thought his life couldn’t get any better. The only problem in his life was the interview with Jenna, but even that he had come to terms with. He would have grinned and bared it for the sake of everyone involved, but now it was all falling apart and he was helpless to stop it.

  “Jenna, it was very nice to meet you. I hope you get what you came for.” Victoria was all business as she and Jenna shook hands.

  Jenna, who had looked uncomfortable for the last several minutes, smiled in his direction as Victoria started to walk away. Cooper had no idea what he was going to say, but knew he couldn’t let Victoria leave without at least trying to talk to her once more.

  Victoria had just reached the door when Cooper caught up with her.

  “Victoria, wait.” Much to his surprise, Victoria stopped with the door half opened.

  “What is it? I need to pack.”

  Not wanting an audience for what he had to say, Cooper told Jenna he would be right back and ushered Victoria into the hallway. As soon as the door closed behind them, Cooper was right in Victoria’s personal space.

  “What the hell is going on?” Cooper pointed toward his door then back to her. “Why is Jenna here, and why are you leaving? The truth this time.”

  “I told you, the salon needs me.” Victoria tried to take a step back, but Cooper met her step for step.

  “Bullshit.” Cooper snapped. “How stupid do you think I am? You were lying then and you’re lying now. What I can’t figure out is why?”

  “I need to pack and you need to get back to your meeting with Jenna.”

  The way Victoria so seamlessly deflected his question made Cooper want to lose his mind. If he thought getting through to her before was hard this newly armored Victoria was like trying to break through a slab of granite, but Cooper made sure to calm himself as much as possible before he gave it one more try. Speaking to her in his most soothing tone.

  “Victoria, talk to me.”

  A single strand of hair hung near her right eye, and Cooper slowly and gently moved it behind her ear.

  “Please tell me what’s going on sweetheart.”

  But instead of turning her head into the palm of his hand like she had so many times before, Victoria shied away from his touch. Cooper never thought anything could hurt as bad as the night Jenna turned down his proposal, but now as he stood in front of the woman he had fallen so madly in love with he thought he could literally hear his heart breaking.

  “Victoria, I…”

  “Don’t.” It was the first word she had spoken that didn’t sound robotic or business like and it only made Cooper want to hold her even more. “Please, just let me go. I need to go.”

  There was a small break in her voice and because he loved her and could hear the desperation in her voice, Cooper did as she asked. It may have killed him a little more inside with every step he took, but Cooper went to his room without saying a word and shut the door.

  Cooper thought he was doing pretty good at keeping it together, but when he heard Victoria’s door open and close then open again less than a minute later he sank to the floor. Victoria going back to her room had nothing to do with packing and everything to do with getting away from Cooper as quickly as she could.

  “Cooper? Are you okay?”

  Great! As if this morning couldn’t get any worse Cooper had completely forgotten about the ex girlfriend sitting in his hotel room waiting to discuss God knows what. Trying his hardest to mask the pain he was feeling, Cooper picked himself up off the floor and slapped on as much of a happy face as he could muster.

  “I’m fine, just a little misunderstanding. Now” Cooper gave Jenna the smile that his mother used to tell him could get him out of anything. “What can I do for you?”

  But unfortunately the person he was trying to use his dazzling smile on knew him too well, and she
nodded to the chair across from her.

  “I’ve known you a long time Cooper.” Jenna said as he took his seat. “I may be your ex, and you may hate me more than the St. Louis Cyclones, but we were friends once and I can tell you are the furthest thing from ‘fine’ there is.”

  “I don’t hate you Jenna.” Cooper said softly.

  The look on Jenna’s face was skeptical to say the least, but it was the truth. If there was one thing Cooper could take away from his time with Victoria it was that hate was the easy way out. It took a strong person to let the past go and not let it consume them to the point of alienating everyone else.

  It would be so easy for Cooper to slip right back into that pool of anger and betrayal that he had been swimming in for months, but all that would get him was a life of misery. So instead of continuing to hold on to the past, Cooper decided it was time to let it go.

  “That night outside of Mariah’s was not one of my finer moments.” Cooper began. “I reacted badly to the situation and said some things that were uncalled for. I should have taken a step back and calmed down, then maybe we wouldn’t be where we are today and for that, I apologize.”

  And like a lifeguard coming up from the bottom of the pool, Cooper took a deep breath and felt a huge weight being lifted off his chest. It was amazing how much baggage a person cannot even know they are carrying until it is unloaded. Now all he needed to complete the unloading process was for Jenna to say she accepted his apology then Cooper could close the book on that chapter in his life.

  For a minute Cooper thought maybe he had shocked Jenna into silence, but fortunately for him she must have just needed a moment to collect her thoughts because finally she leaned forward in her chair and grabbed his hand. Studying his face intently, but for what he wasn’t sure.

  “Is that how you really feel?” Jenna asked hopefully as she stood and came around the table. “Do you wish things were different between us because I do.”