Let Me Love You Read online

  ****

  Lindsay was still holding the screw driver to the screw on the lock, but she was no longer turning it. Four years later and the fear still paralyzed her. Clearing her head of that awful day, she resumed her installation of the lock.

  She had just tightened the last screw when she heard the front door open. Knowing her gun was still in her purse in the living room; Lindsay looked around for something she could use as a weapon.

  “Lindsay? It’s Kyle.” What is he doing here? He was supposed to be out with Stella and Alex. Footsteps in the hall were the only warning she got before Kyle was standing in the doorway to her bedroom.

  “I knocked but you must not have heard me. I didn’t scare you did I?” He had no idea how much he scared her, but not in the he-will-physically-harm-me kind of way.

  “I was just unpacking and got distracted. I thought you guys had already left. Did you need something?” Trying not to be obvious about it, Lindsay started making her way to the door. He was staring at the bed, but had yet to say anything about what he saw. When she got close enough, Kyle stepped aside to let her pass by.

  “Stella said you didn’t want to go out, but I thought I’d come see if I could change your mind.”

  “I really just want to unpack a few things, take a long bath and get some sleep. Stella and I were up pretty early.” His eyes darted to the bed again before he followed her out of the bedroom.

  “Do you want me to stay and help you? I don’t mind.” Definitely not; being alone with him this long made her pulse race and body respond in ways it shouldn’t be. Lindsay didn’t think she could handle much more. As polite as she could, while still getting her feelings across, Lindsay opened the front door.

  “I appreciate it, but I won’t be doing a lot. Go have fun with Stella, Alex and Vicki. You guys deserve it after all the heavy lifting you did.” Kyle strolled towards the open door, but paused in front of her. His hand lifted like he was going to touch her, but he dropped it back to his side.

  “Get some rest, Red. I’ll see you soon.” And with that soft spoken statement, Kyle walked out of her apartment and disappeared down the stairs. Lindsay stood there for several seconds staring at the empty stairwell. She should be trembling from being alone with Kyle for so long. But instead all she felt was confused and slightly turned on. What was happening to her?

  This time when she shut the door, she locked it. Grabbing her purse on the way back to her room, Lindsay placed the gun back in its proper place.

  She finished setting up all her security devices and went to draw herself a bath. The huge tub had been calling her name and her tired muscles could use a long soak.

  Lindsay stripped away her sweaty clothes and made sure to avoid the giant mirror above the sink. It’s not like she didn’t know what her scars looked like. The warm water surrounded her as she sank further into the deep bathtub. Only her head was above the water as she began to nod off; visions of a sexy man with dark chocolate eyes and a smile that threatened all of Lindsay’s defenses dancing behind her eyelids.

  ****

  “No! I just want to spend some time with my friends. I already told you that.” Kyle took a long pull from his beer bottle and turned his back on the leggy blonde that had been hitting on him all night.

  They had been at Maxwell’s for a few hours now and Kyle was ready to go home. He was sick of woman throwing themselves at him and had gone from gently letting them down to being a total asshole.

  “Fine, your loss” She finally stomped off and Kyle looked up into three sets of very shocked eyes.

  “What?”

  “Uh…are you feeling ok?” Victoria placed her hand on his forehead like she was checking for a fever. “That’s like the tenth girl you’ve sent away. I think we need to get you to a hospital.”

  “I’m just not in the mood to deal with any of them tonight. Is that so hard to believe?”

  “Frankly, when it comes to you…yes” Kyle turned to Alex; to the one person who knew exactly what was going on. He sent Kyle a you-might-as-well-tell-them look and Kyle slumped back in his chair.

  “If you must know, I have started thinking lately I want more from a relationship than a one night stand. And none of these woman fit what I’m looking for. There, now you know. No need for trips to the ER.”

  There was no reason to tell them who he wanted. Victoria and Stella would jump all over him if they thought for one second he had less than honorable intentions for their friend.

  The two women sat stock still. You would have thought he told them he planned on killing someone tonight or something. Kyle clutched his hands together behind his neck and stared up at the ceiling. Why didn’t he just keep his big mouth shut?

  “If tall, blonde and sleazy isn’t it, then what are you looking for?” Vicki’s description of the women he normally slept with should have made him mad, but she was right.

  A picture of Lindsay wrapped in his arms popped into Kyle’s mind and he smiled; it really was a nice image. But knowing it was so far out of reach made him groan. He should just pay his bill and go home to drown his sorrows, but then he remembered he rode with Alex and Stella.

  “That groan tells me you know exactly who you want, but could it be that the great and powerful firefighter can’t have someone?” Victoria was such a pain in the ass sometimes. “Now I’m even more intrigued.”

  Kyle glared at Victoria, which made her laugh harder. When his eyes locked with Stella’s he forgot all about Vicki. Stella was staring at him with a tilt to her head, like the answers were written on his face. And apparently they were because she shoved back her chair and stood up.

  “Are you kidding me!?!” Kyle winced, and a very surprised and angry Stella pointed to the side door. “If you two will excuse us, Kyle and I need to have a little talk.”

  Alex tried to say something to Stella, but she was already walking to the door. Kyle blew out a breath and resigned himself to his fate. “We’ll be right back.”

  The door hadn’t even closed all the way when she started her tirade.

  “Really, of all the women in this city, why her? You’ve done some messed up things before, but this may take the cake. She is not some piece of ass, Kyle. You won’t be able to just sneak out in the morning when you’ve gotten what you wanted.”

  “Her name is Lindsay! Don’t talk about her like she’s some nameless bimbo I’m trying to sleep with. If you would have bothered to listen to what I said inside, you would realize I said I want more out of a relationship than a booty call. And if I just wanted a piece of ass, I could easily have that.” He waved his hand toward the bar.

  Kyle didn’t like yelling at a woman, especially someone he considered a friend, but Stella had downright insulted him. Stella didn’t back down though. “Why Lindsay, why now”

  Kyle grabbed a chair and sat down and Stella did the same. He rubbed a hand down his face and tried to answer the best he could. “I can’t explain why. It’s just how I feel. I’ll tell you what I told Alex. Since I decided I want to pursue something with Lindsay, I haven’t been with another woman. That’s how serious I am about her.”

  “Kyle…I like you, you know that. But this is the first time you’ve even hinted that you want a serious relationship. What if you try it and you decide it’s not for you? Where does that leave Lindsay? I don’t want to see her hurt.”

  “Hurt her? Do you really think so little of me? I would never hurt her. She’s already had enough of that in her life.”

  “What do you mean?” Stella looked and sounded as pissed as Kyle felt when thinking about Lindsay’s unknown past.

  “Nothing, I just have my suspicions and Alex told me you guys do too.” Leaning forward with his forearms resting on his knees, Kyle focused on the ground between his feet.

  Stella sighed. “Yes, I do, but I’ve never wanted to bring it up to her. Lindsay went from this shy meek little thing to being full of life most of the time. I don’t want to force her to open up old wounds and her revert b
ack to how she was. I’ve told her I’m here for her to talk to, but left it at that.”

  “I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but it’s been bugging me all night.” Kyle paused, but needed to tell someone so he continued. “When I went back to try and convince her to come out tonight, there was a bunch of security things laid out on her bed.”

  “Did you ask her what they were?”

  “No. She clearly didn’t want me to see them because she couldn’t get me out of there fast enough. Stella, she is terrified of somebody. It kills me to think of her going through that on her own. You or Vicki needs to get it out of her. It’s driving me crazy thinking she’s in danger.”

  Kyle had never felt this way about someone before. Like if something happened to her, his world would forever be shadowed by a black cloud. “She’s never said anything to you about her past? Not even a slip somewhere along the way?”

  Stella worried her bottom lip and looked like she was debating something in her head. “There have been looks and comments here and there. Then there are the times she freaks out at random things that she really shouldn’t.”

  Kyle interrupted Stella. “Like at your apartment when she dropped the food?”

  “Exactly, and when Alex and I had a disagreement and I said he hurt me, she thought I meant physically.” Stella took a deep breath, “And early this morning, she had a nightmare. I’ve never heard someone scream so loud or sound so in pain from a bad dream.”

  Kyle’s chest ached for what Lindsay could have possibly gone through in her life. “Did she say what it was about?”

  Stella shook her head. “When I tried to wake her up, she was swinging her fists, and told me to get out before he got me too. She kept yelling for ‘Mitch’ to stop. I asked who he was or what the dream was about and she shut down; said she barely remembered the dream.”

  “And you didn’t believe her?” Kyle was getting sicker to his stomach as Stella was reliving what had happened this morning.

  “No. She was petrified. She knew exactly what the nightmare was about.”

  Kyle leaned back in his seat and thought about everything Stella had just told him. He didn’t want Lindsay to get scared off by any of them, but he couldn’t sit back and do nothing anymore.

  “Lindsay is comfortable with women more so than men, so you and Vicki will have to be the ones to get it out of her. She seems especially jittery with me, and that kind of hinders me getting anywhere with her. My hope is once she tells someone what’s going on, she will loosen up a little and I might have a shot.” At least he hoped.

  Stella nodded in agreement. “She does seem more uncomfortable around you than anyone else. I even asked her about it, but she never really answers or changes the subject. I will talk to Vicki and see what we can come up with.”

  Stella stood and Kyle followed her lead. She started towards the door and abruptly stopped. “If you are serious about changing, I will help,” Stella turned and glared a hole through him. “But if you so much as hurt her feelings once, I will hunt you down myself and do to you what I did to Kevin. Just remember that.”

  Kyle’s hand moved to the front of his jeans and he winced. When he opened his eyes, Stella was already back inside the bar. Feeling somewhat better, even after Stella’s threat, Kyle opened the door and headed to the table. At least now they were all on the same page.

  ****

  Chapter 4

  Lindsay rolled to the middle of her bed, stretched her arms high above her head and yawned loudly. Damn that felt good. It had been a little over a week since she moved to Spring Towers, and Lindsay felt more relaxed than she had in four years.

  As was her new routine in the morning, Lindsay took a long hot shower, got ready for work and went to the kitchen to get the coffee started. Stella would come over soon, and the two of them would talk as they drank the warm brew and ate breakfast.

  A knock on the door, just as the coffee maker signaled it was done, made Lindsay giggle. “Like clockwork.”

  After quick check through the peephole, Lindsay unlocked the door. Stella came strolling in wearing her normal black t-shirt, jeans, tennis shoes and her hair in a ponytail.

  “Sorry I’m late. I, uh, got distracted.” Two mugs were already sitting on the kitchen counter, so Lindsay filled both and handed one to Stella.

  “Every morning you say the same thing, and every morning I tell you it’s no big deal. So from now on, just come in, say hi, tell me Alex couldn’t keep his hands off you and drink your coffee.”

  Stella’s cheeks took on a dark shade of red and she shied away sheepishly. “Point taken, you think we’d be sick of each other by now. But our goodbye peck always turns into a lesson in foreplay.”

  Lindsay put a finger in each ear and began babbling loudly. “Lalalalala, I don’t need the details.”

  “Oh, details would be me telling you how he bent me over the …”

  “Stop right there. For those of us still using battery powered boyfriends, hearing about your sexcapades is not helpful. It’s just depressing. ” Stella just grinned as she took a sip of her beverage.

  Lindsay smiled back and shook her head. She thought about how much her life had changed for the better since meeting Stella.

  When she called about the assistant job nearly three years ago, Lindsay had just moved for the third time. The fake ID her sponsor at the domestic violence group had set her up with had finally come through, and Lindsay wanted to try and start living a normal life; or normal enough at least.

  While standing in line at a local deli, a bright flyer on the bulletin board caught her attention. Before Lindsay was kicked out of college, she had been taking art classes and thought being an assistant to a photographer would be a perfect way to start over.

  During her interview, Stella’s easy going personality and sense of humor reminded Lindsay so much of Jessie. Stella hadn’t even let Lindsay leave before offering her the job, and she almost dropped to her knees to thank her.

  All this time later and Lindsay still couldn’t believe it was real. She had a great job, a great apartment and fantastic friends. Stella, Vicki and Alex made her feel welcome in their small group immediately; like she had always been there.

  Then there was Kyle. Sweet, caring, gentle, funny, confusing Kyle; he was the one person in Lindsay’s current life that didn’t fit in a specific category. While they were friends, she found it hard to be around him sometimes. There was always this underlying attraction between them that brought out all of her insecurities and fears.

  “I know of at least one person who would gladly help you out of your sexual drought.” Stella was grinning wickedly.

  “Doubtful. But seeing as I have no desire to date, or have sex with a random person, we don’t need to discuss it further.”

  “You’re no fun.” Stella crossed her arms over her chest and pretended to pout.

  “I know, but you love me.” Lindsay picked up both their mugs and placed them in the sink before turning back to Stella. “Now come on boss lady. Let’s get to work so you can kick ass like always.”

  “Alright, but are you okay with taking separate cars today? I need to make a few stops before I head to the studio.” Once Lindsay moved in, she and Stella started riding to work together. It seemed logical since they were going to and coming back from the same place.

  “Sure. I have some errands to do on my lunch break today anyway. I’ll open up and get everything ready for your first shoot.”

  “That’s why you are the best.” The two of them headed down to their cars and left in opposite directions.

  Half an hour later, Stella came sauntering in carrying a small box in one hand, while a gift bag hung from the other. Stella thrust both in Lindsay’s direction with a giant smile on her face. “Happy Birthday”

  “I can’t believe you remembered.” Her birthday wasn’t something Lindsay ever made a big deal out of, but the fact that Stella remembered warmed her heart.

  “Of course I remembered. What kind o
f boss, or friend, would I be if I forgot one of my best friend’s birthday?”

  “Still a great one, but thank you. This is awesome.” Stella waved the presents in front of her one more time and Lindsay took them from her. She lifted the lid on the small box first and moaned.

  “Mmmm…it’s like a small slice of heaven.” In the box was an apple turnover from the bakery around the corner. They were so delicious, it should be illegal.

  “Open the other one.” Stella was bouncing in place, and Lindsay could tell she was really excited for her to open this gift. So she moved her attention to the gift bag.

  Lindsay began taking piece after piece of tissue paper out of the bag. Her fingers grazed something metal, and Lindsay pulled a picture frame from the bag.

  “Oh Stella…this is amazing. I don’t even remember taking this.” In the frame was a picture of Stella, Vicki and herself hugging and laughing at Stella and Alex’s engagement party; the words ‘Best Friends’ ran along the edge of the frame, and Lindsay couldn’t agree with that more.

  “I knew I wanted you to have it as soon as the pictures came in. It was one of my favorites.”

  “Thank you. I love it. I know the perfect spot to put it in my apartment. You’re the best.” With the picture frame still in her hand, Lindsay threw her arms around Stella.

  “So are you.” Stella hugged her back. When they separated, Stella shook her finger at Lindsay. “And you better not have plans tonight. Victoria and I are taking you out to celebrate, and she told me to tell you don’t even try to argue.”

  “No argument here. Just tell me when and where.” A night out with her two best friends sounded like the perfect way to spend her birthday.

  “The location is a surprise, but Vicki she said probably around eight for the time. Is that fine?”

  “Sounds great” And it did. Now Lindsay would have two things to look forward to today.

  Stella disappeared into her office a few minutes later and Lindsay sat down to sort through the schedule for today. She was just picking up the phone to call a client, when a delivery boy came through the front door carrying a bouquet of sterling silver roses.