Let Me Love You Read online

  It was close, but Lindsay won the second game. Their friends all watched and were even making bets now before the third game started. “I’ve got twenty bucks on Lindsay.” Vicki was waving the money in Alex’s face.

  “You’re on.” He responded back and placed another twenty on top of hers. The band for the evening had started to play, and the raspy deep voice of the lead singer flowed around the room.

  “Stakes are getting awfully high. How about we make a bet of our own?” She didn’t know what to say. Lindsay was confident in her pool skills, but Kyle was good too. Not knowing what he may want if he won, made her even more cautious.

  “What are the stakes?”

  “If I win, you have to dance with me during the next slow song the band plays.” She looked to the small dance floor and then back at him. Lindsay didn’t know if she would survive being in his arms for a whole song without begging him for more.

  “And if I win?” Her brain was too foggy from thoughts of being in Kyle’s arms to come up with something of her own.

  Kyle was thinking hard about her question, but Stella chimed in before he came up with something. “If you win, Kyle has to let Vicki wax his legs.”

  Kyle’s eyes got impossibly wide, and just as he began to shake his head no, Lindsay said “agreed” and stuck out her hand. The cockiness from a minute ago was no replaced with uncertainty.

  “Come on, man. You gonna let them scare you? You’ve got this.”

  “Shut up. You aren’t the one that would have to wax your legs, now are you.” Kyle cursed under his breath, but stuck his hand out and said “Agreed.”

  ****

  Kyle took two or three long gulps of his beer. What the hell was he thinking? He glanced over to see Lindsay bent over the pool table and knew exactly what he was thinking. If he didn’t feel Lindsay in his arms soon, he may not survive the night.

  “You keep checking out Lindsay’s ass, you’ll never win.” Alex whispered next to him. He was enjoying Kyle’s misery a little too much. He guessed he deserved it after all the shit he had given Alex about Stella.

  “I know that. Damn it. Why did I agree to this?”

  “Because you are too chicken shit to ask Lindsay to dance like a normal person.” There was that. But why take the chance of being rejected when you could win what you want just as easily?

  “I have to win. It’s the only way I’ll get Lindsay alone to talk without getting interrupted. Plus, I don’t feel like being the walking punch line around the firehouse if I have to wax my legs.” Kyle could already hear the other men’s harassment.

  “You ready to lose, Brady.” Lindsay stood beside the table with her hands wrapped around her pool stick; a cocky grin on her face. With a final slap on the back and good luck from Alex, Kyle rolled his neck and loosened his shoulders.

  “Dream on, Red. You’ll be slow dancing with me before you know it.”

  “I think it’s more likely you’ll be sporting some smooth legs all summer. It will keep you cool at least.” They threw insults back and forth a few more times before Lindsay got into position to break. Right away she sank two balls, and Kyle felt a small sheen of sweat form on his forehead.

  Lindsay made the two and three ball, but missed the four completely; which meant Kyle got ball in hand. Inhaling to calm himself, Kyle stepped up to the table. The remaining balls were arranged pretty openly and Kyle felt confident he could run the table.

  He lined up his first shot and sank the four into the side pocket. The cue ball stopped a little too far over, but he was still able to hit the five-ball in. Looking one more time around the table, Kyle easily made the seven and eight.

  “Come on. One more and I’ll buy your beer the rest of the night with Vicki’s money.” Stella and Vicki both smacked Alex for his comment. Lindsay was watching intently from her spot by the pillar. She seemed almost frozen as he tried to figure out the best pocket to sink the nine.

  “Right corner pocket.” Kyle pointed with his pool cue to the pocket he wanted. With one more calming intake of oxygen, he leaned over and gave a few practice strokes. One last stroke and Kyle shot the stick forward.

  The cue ball glided over the green felt and as if in slow motion, Kyle watched the ball crash into the white and yellow nine. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see if he had made it or missed. A collective gasp made him open his eyes. Kyle looked at the table and realized that the only ball left was the cue ball.

  Kyle couldn’t believe it. One look at Lindsay, and he knew she couldn’t either. Alex jumped up and high-fived him. “Geez, when that ball started to drift, I thought it was going bounce off the side rail.”

  Stella and Vicki were talking trash to Alex as he went back to the table to collect his winnings, but Kyle attention was drawn to Lindsay. She hadn’t moved or said a word the entire time and he was starting to feel like maybe he had made a mistake with this bet.

  Kyle didn’t want her to feel like she was being forced to do this, so he laid his stick on the pool table and slowly approached her.

  “Lindsay?” She must not have seen him approaching because he said her name it startled.

  “What?”

  “You don’t have to dance if you don’t want to. It was just a silly bet.”

  “You don’t want to dance with me now?” Lindsay’s confusion was clear and she no longer seemed to be in a trance.

  “I would love nothing more than to dance with you. You just didn’t seem thrilled about the idea right after I won.” Color returned to her cheeks and her lips turned up at the corners.

  “I was just in shock. I didn’t expect you to win so easily.” Her admission made Kyle laugh and relax once again. She wasn’t thinking about their impending dance, it was just her wounded ego at being beaten. That was a relief.

  “Sorry, Red. I couldn’t let you win just because it’s your birthday. I was too focused on wanting spinning you around the dance floor.”

  “Well since it’s still a fast song, so I guess my toes are safe for now.” The smile she gave him was so sweet; he damn near melted to the floor. He wanted to demand the band to play the longest slow song ever written right now. But he didn’t want Lindsay to see just how desperate he really was, so he just smiled back.

  “I’ll be gentle. I promise.” Lindsay pushed away from the pillar and headed back to the small table where their friends were sitting. She sat down and received consoling hugs from her friends.

  Alex handed Kyle a new beer and he sat down as well. They all sat around the table joking and laughing. Telling stories from their jobs and enjoying the amazing music surrounding them.

  The band announced they would be taking a short break after their next song and Kyle’s heart sank. They still hadn’t played a slow song since he won, and Kyle was starting to lose all hope that they ever would.

  When the band began to play a soft blues melody, Kyle wanted to fall to his knees and thank each one of them. Lindsay was still sitting next to Vicki on the other side of the table, when Kyle stood and walked over to her.

  “May I have this dance?” He extended his hand towards her. Kyle was relieved when Lindsay placed her small hand in his much larger one without hesitation. He could feel a slight tremble in her hand as they walked the short distance to the dance floor.

  A few other couples were on the floor, but there was plenty of room for them to move without bumping into anyone. Kyle turned a very surprised Lindsay in a circle once before placing both of his hands on the small of her back. They began to sway in time to the music and Kyle couldn’t remember the last time something had felt this right.

  Their height difference made it difficult for Lindsay to have a good place for her arms, so she ended up resting her hands on his upper arms. She was looking around at first, but then seemed to settle into the dance.

  “Kyle?”

  “Yes”

  “Can I ask you a question?” They had been dancing in silence for a minute, and he was curious to find out what she wanted to ask him.


  “Of course”

  She seemed nervous about whatever she wanted to ask him, so he kept quiet and waited. Finally she asked. “Why did you send me roses?”

  That was an easy one to answer. “Because it’s your birthday, and when I saw those flowers, they reminded me of you.”

  Lindsay gave him a confused look so he explained further. “Sterling silver roses are soft in color, beautiful and unique. Just like you.”

  They had slowed down so much that Kyle didn’t think it was consider dancing anymore. Lindsay frowned and he didn’t know what he had said to upset her. “Did I say something wrong?”

  “No. I’m just trying to figure you out.”

  Picking up their dancing pace again, Kyle smiled. “What’s there to figure out?”

  “You could have any woman you want, and they are normally of the tall, blonde and gorgeous variety. Why would your waste time on someone like me?” They continued to sway back and forth as he thought about the best way to respond.

  “Did you like the flowers?”

  “I loved them. They were very sweet, but I still don’t understand the why? Stella said she knew why, but wasn’t allowed to tell me. Why don’t you tell me?” Kyle glared in Stella’s direction; so much for keeping it a secret. Kyle sighed and decided to get it over with.

  “I want a date. I want the chance to show you I’m not the womanizer you think I am. And I want to spend time with you, away from our friends, and get to know you better. You’re smart, funny, ambitious, and you put me in my place when I need it. Not to mention, you are one of the most beautiful women I know.”

  Her lack of response made Kyle’s palms start to sweat. She was still in his arms after the song ended, refused to look up at him. Instead, Lindsay was staring at the front of his shirt like it was the most fascinating piece of clothing she had ever seen.

  “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” It was barely above a whisper, but her words pierced his heart like a dagger being plunged into his chest. Kyle should walk away right now, but he still wanted to know why she thought it wasn’t a good idea.

  “Why not, are you dating someone else?” He was pretty sure the answer was no. Since Lindsay started working with Stella, none of them had seen her go on a date or even mention another man in a romantic way.

  Shaking her head as if the thought appalled her, Lindsay took a step back. “No, I’m not.”

  “Then what is it? Are you not attracted to me?” If that was the problem, there was nothing he could do to fix it. But the few admiring looks he caught her giving him made Kyle think that wasn’t the problem either.

  “I’m not dead or blind, so no, that’s not the problem. It’s just…” Lindsay stopped talking as Kyle watched all color drain from her face and her breathing became labored.

  Kyle scanned the area around them to see what could have caused this kind of reaction, but saw nothing out of the ordinary. When he turned back, Lindsay’s terrified eyes were focused on the jukebox.

  “What’s wrong? What scared you?” He reached out to touch her arm, but she took off before he ever made contact. Kyle tried to catch up to her, but Lindsay had already grabbed her purse off the table and ran for the door.

  “What the fuck did you do, Kyle?” He was so focused on going after Lindsay, he wasn’t sure if it was Vicki or Stella that shouted the question at him.

  “I didn’t do anything.” He yelled back. “We were talking and then she turned white as a ghost. I tried asking her what scared her, but she ran before I could get an answer.” Stella picked up her purse and headed for the door, with Vicki hot on her heels.

  Alex came up beside Kyle as he stared at the door the three women disappeared through. “What were you talking about?”

  “She asked me why I sent her flowers, and I said I wanted to take her on a date. She was starting to tell me why she didn’t think it was a good idea when all hell broke loose.” Alex gave him a sympathetic look and shrugged.

  “Maybe her issues and fears are deeper than you thought. Are you sure you want to go through all of this?”

  Kyle thought about Alex’s question. Could he deal with nights like tonight on a reoccurring basis? The moment he thought about how Lindsay had felt against him while they were dancing, answered it for him.

  “Yes, I am.” He had never been so sure of anything in his life.

  “Then let’s go find out what’s going on.” Kyle and Alex threw enough money on the table to cover all of their bills and headed outside. There was no sign of any of the women, and Vicki’s car was gone.

  “They probably went back to the apartment. Come on. We’ll head back to my place. I’ll text Stella and let her know we will be there soon.” Kyle was glad they brought Alex’s car to the bar. He didn’t think he could drive with all the unanswered questions bouncing around in his head.

  ****

  Chapter 6

  “Ma’am, we’ve arrived at your destination.”

  Lindsay was still lying across the back seat of the cab when she shoved some money at the cab driver. Not bothering to stick around and make sure it was enough, she peered out the window and decided to make a break for it; she ran up the stairs as fast as she could and unlocked her apartment.

  After shutting and locking it behind her, Lindsay made it as far as the hall bathroom before she threw up. When there was nothing left to expel, she sat down and leaned against the wall. Lindsay didn’t know how much time had passed before the banging on her front door started.

  “Open up Lindsay! We know you are in there, we saw you get out of the cab.” Sitting on the floor of the bathroom feeling drained and completely humiliated, she reached for a wash cloth to wipe her face. It had been a long time since a panic attack hit her that hard and fast.

  Now her friends were going to want answers; answers she couldn’t give them, not without putting herself at risk and telling them how she had been stupid enough to be with a man that almost killed her.

  “It’s just Vicki and I, let us in.” Pushing herself to a standing position, Lindsay grabbed the sink for support; she forgot how much attacks zapped all of her energy and strength. Slowly, Lindsay made her way to the kitchen island and leaned on it.

  “Go away; I just want to be alone right now. I’ll call you guys tomorrow.” She knew it was a weak attempt at best; Stella wasn’t going anywhere without an explanation.

  “Hell no, we aren’t leaving until we see for ourselves that you’re fine. So open the door or I will wait for the guys to get here and have them break it down; your choice.” Lindsay didn’t want anyone seeing her like this, but especially not Kyle. Realizing her only option was to let the two stubborn women in, she finally opened the door.

  “See, I’m fine. Now you can both go home so I can get some sleep.” Stella rolled her eyes, and Vicki gave her a puhlease look that said she weren’t buying it.

  “We are not going anywhere. Sit down and point me in the direction of the alcohol; I have a feeling we are all going to need it.”

  “I don’t have any.” Lindsay liked to stay alert so she never drank at home, and never more than a beer or two when they went out.

  “I have some at my place. I’ll be back in two seconds.” Stella came back a minute later carrying vodka in one hand and orange juice in the other. “That’s better.”

  Vicki went to the kitchen to help Stella make the drinks, while Lindsay sat on the couch trying to figure out what she was going to say to her two best friends. They both returned holding glasses, and Vicki handed one to her.

  “Thanks.” Lindsay took a tentative sip of the citrus concoction and nearly choked. “Geez, Stella. Two sips of this and I’ll be blitzed out of my mind.”

  “Good. Maybe when you’re drunk, you’ll explain what the hell happened at the bar tonight.” Deciding the over powering drink was safer than spilling her guts, Lindsay took a bigger drink; the burn down her throat a welcomed distraction from her current conversation.

  Vicki took the seat
next to Lindsay on the couch, but Stella was still standing in front of her waiting for an answer. She wanted to lie; wanted to tell them anything other than the horrible truth of it all, but the weight of this secret had been crushing Lindsay for too long.

  Vicki placed a hand on Lindsay’s knee and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “Please, you can tell us. I can tell that you want too so badly; let us help, we are here for you.”

  Lindsay closed her eyes and prepared to tell the story she hadn’t told since the day she gave her deposition. “You’re right, I do want to tell you guys, but it’s not something that’s easy to talk about.”

  “Take as long as you need.” Stella finally sat down on the other side of Lindsay, and it was now or never. Knowing she couldn’t tell them every detail, Lindsay decided to start with the less difficult parts of the story.

  “It all started when my parents were killed in a plane crash just outside of Dallas. They were flying up to see a concert with some friends, when the private plane they were on lost all power and crashed to the ground. I was in college at the time, so I didn’t even know they were dead until I got a phone call from a police officer the next day.”

  Lindsay could hear Vicki and Stella sniffling next to her, but she was looking straight ahead; otherwise she would breakdown before she got it all out.

  “After I found out, I went numb. I stopped going to class and subsequently was kicked out of school. My parents will took care of the house, so I at least had somewhere to go, but I was so depressed I could barely get out of bed each day. The small inheritance they left me was dwindling down, and if it hadn’t been for my best friend Jessie, my life would have hit rock bottom.”

  Thinking about Jessie brought a sad smile to Lindsay’s face. “She came over one day to pick me up and took me to a grief counselor. The counselor forced me to deal with my loss and about a year later, I started to feel normal again. Jessie and I were hanging out at a friend’s house party one night, and that’s where I met Mitch.”

  Just speaking his name made Lindsay need another long drink of her screw driver; this time she barely felt the burn. “We lived in a small town, so I knew who he was. Mitch was the town’s golden boy. Star quarterback, good looking, mommy and daddy had money, and he was talking to me.