Let Me Love You Read online

  “He was home on leave from the fire academy, and we spent the whole night talking and laughing and getting to know each other; from that night on, whenever he was home, we were together. We talked on the phone every day, we emailed, we instant messaged; he was everything that had been missing from my life since my parents death. I thought I had found the one person that would love me as much as my parents did; God how I was wrong.”

  Stella and Vicki each grabbed one of her hands, but Lindsay was so lost in the story, the gesture barely registered in her mind.

  “At first, the abuse was just mental. He would yell at me if I did something wrong or he didn’t like what I was wearing. He’d call me names and make me feel as small as possible. He didn’t like me hanging out with Jessie and our friendship started to get strained; things got much worse when he finished at the academy.

  The first time he hit me was a few days after he moved home. We had gone out to celebrate with some of his buddies and when we got back to my place, he shoved me into a wall and smacked me. I was so shocked I didn’t know what to do. He immediately apologized and promised never to do it again; but of course that promise only lasted until the next time I did something he didn’t like. He would smack me in the face, punch me in the stomach, kick me, and every time he would apologize. People around town started noticing my bruises, but I would lie and say I walked into a door or fell down.

  “I knew I should leave, but by that point he had taken control over every aspect of my life. I had sold my parents’ house because he wanted us to get something together, and he insisted that I not work. At first I thought it was because he wanted to take care of me; quickly I realized it was so I couldn’t talk to a lot of people and he would know what I was doing at all times.”

  No longer able to sit still, Lindsay removed her hands from Stella and Vicki’s and began pacing around the living room; knowing the hardest part was coming.

  “A few days before my twenty-fourth birthday, I found out I was pregnant; it came as a complete surprise and I didn’t know what to do. Mitch and I had never discussed children, and I was terrified to tell him. When I did he was livid. He said I had planned it and it was just a way for me to get his money. He left the house and when he came back hours later, he was holding a teddy bear and gave me a hug and kiss. He apologized, said he was happy and we were going to be a family.”

  Small rivers were running down Lindsay’s cheeks as a sob escaped her. Vicki stood up and pulled her into a gentle embrace. “Shh, it’s okay. Do you want to stop?”

  Wiping away a stray tear, Lindsay shook her head. “No, I need to get this out.”

  Vicki walked her back to the couch and Lindsay sat down. “For two months, everything was perfect. He stopped hitting me, didn’t raise his voice, he even held my hair when I had morning sickness; life was how it should have been all along and I thought it would stay that way.

  “But, in the middle of July our town has an ice cream social to raise money for the fire department. When we arrived, I went to help out Jessie at the dessert table and Mitch disappeared to do whatever he was supposed to. Jessie had gone inside to get more desserts, when Mitch’s friend Brad came over and started talking to me.

  “We joked back and forth about the desserts, but it didn’t last long; Mitch saw us talking and came over to interrupt. Brad walked away and Mitch told me we would be leaving immediately, and went to talk to his chief.” Lindsay closed her eyes and could still remember every detail of that day.

  “He said nothing all the way home and I knew he was pissed. As soon as I made it through the back door, the first hit came. He punched me in the back of the head, which sent me to the floor in the kitchen. Once I was down he began kicking me in the ribs and stomach. I couldn’t breathe and I tried to protect the baby, but his kicks kept coming.

  “He kicked the arm that was over my stomach, and the bone broke immediately. He dragged me to our living room and threw me on the couch; where he hit me a couple more times and tried to rip off my clothes. I begged him to stop but that only fueled his rage. He was screaming about how I was sleeping with Brad and the baby wasn’t his.

  “I was in so much pain I couldn’t walk and Mitch practically dragged me upstairs. He pulled out his pocket knife and ran it over my body; the silent threat was very clear to me. He got me to the bedroom and I knew I only had one more chance to get out; so I kicked as hard as I could, and he went flying off the bed. As I ran for the door, he reached out and tripped me. I made it to the top of the stairs before he caught up to me.”

  Picking up her glass, Lindsay downed the rest of her drink in two quick swallows. Her words were now slightly slurred, but she continued. “I didn’t have time to react as the knife came at me. He stabbed me with such force, that I fell backwards down the stairs and was knocked unconscious.”

  “You really don’t have to say any more, we get the picture.” Stella started to stand up, but Lindsay reached out to stop her. Stella lowered herself back onto the cushion, and Lindsay went on with the story.

  “Mitch placed the knife next to my hand before he left me lying unconscious at the bottom of the stairs; bleeding heavily from the three inch wound he gave me. If it hadn’t been for Jessie coming by a short time later to check on me, I would have died where he left me.”

  Lindsay slumped back into the couch and rested her hands over her flat stomach; preparing to relive getting the worst news of her life.

  “I woke up in the hospital three weeks later with a fractured skull, broken ribs, a broken arm, and they informed me that I had lost the b-baby when the knife lacerated my uterus.” The tears fell freely now. Lindsay still felt the guilt for failing to protect the life that had been growing inside of her.

  The three of them sat in silence for a short time, before Stella rested her hands on top of Lindsay’s and spoke. “Everything that you’ve been through proves you are a fighter, and a very strong woman.”

  “How can you say that? I let that monster use me as a punching bag for years, and because I was stupid enough to stay with him my baby paid the price; an innocent life died because of me.”

  Stella now looked as angry as Lindsay felt. “No! A life was taken by an evil person, and he very nearly took two. I can’t sit here and say I know what you’re going through because I don’t, but you are a survivor and I won’t let you believe otherwise.”

  Vicki had been sitting quietly during Lindsay and Stella’s exchange, but her words brought both of them back to the story. “Stella’s right, you survived and are in no way to blame.” She wished she could believe that. “But what happened to Mitch, was he caught?”

  Lindsay nodded her head. “The cops found him later that night hiding out at his parents. He was taken down to the police station and booked on aggravated assault charges.”

  “That’s it, what the hell kind of justice is that?” The anger pulsing from Vicki was almost palpable.

  “I was in the hospital for a month recovering and when I was finally strong enough to make it to the district attorney’s office, they told me that’s all they could charge him with. Mitch said I had the knife and fell on it when I tumbled down the stairs, and they couldn’t prove otherwise.” Stella and Vicki sat in stunned silence.

  “His bail was set pretty high, and he was in jail the whole month I was in the hospital. The harassing phone calls started as soon as I was released; Mitch said the only way I was leaving him was in a body bag and I believed him. So when I got the phone call telling me he was going to be let out on bail, I panicked. Jessie told me I would be safe at her place, but the first night he was out he tried to break in.

  “Jessie dialed 911, and as soon as he heard the sirens, he ran. The police searched all over town, but couldn’t find him; knowing Mitch wouldn’t stop until I was dead, I made the decision to pack up and move. I had a small chunk of money from my inheritance left and used it to try and start over.”

  Stella looked as if she was trying to figure something out in her head. “Y
ou didn’t move here until at least a year later. Where did you go?”

  “I moved around a couple of times, but would pack up as soon as I started to feel uncomfortable. When I made my way to Chicago, I finally felt somewhat safe.” She didn’t tell them about her fake ID; the risk was too high if they decided to do a little digging of their own.

  “So I’m assuming Mitch has never been caught?”

  “No. The cops searched for a while, but it’s like he vanished without a trace. I don’t call home, but I do communicate with Jessie still in our own little way. She keeps me updated on any changes in the case, but so far there hasn’t been anything new.”

  “Maybe he’s left the country?” Lindsay thought back to every threat and glare Mitch had given her, and knew that wasn’t the case.

  “He wouldn’t do that. I’m unfinished business in his mind and he won’t stop until I’m dead.” Needing something to do with her hands, Lindsay got up from the couch and headed to the kitchen to fix another drink.

  Stella and Vicki followed her lead. “So what happened tonight to bring all of this on?” Lindsay thought back to the bar and a shiver ran through her body.

  “Mitch called before he came to Jessie’s house that night. No one ever spoke, but the song ‘Every Breath You Take’ was playing through the phone. It started playing on the jukebox when the band took their break and for some reason I thought it meant he had found me; like he was there and toying with me.” Now that she could think more clearly, she knew it was ridiculous; but at the time, instinct took over and she ran.

  “So what can we do to help?”

  “There isn’t anything to do. As long as he is still out there, I have to be aware of my surroundings and do what I can to protect myself; and hope I stay safe.”

  “Well that explains the spy gadgets Kyle told me about.” Lindsay should have known he would tell Stella. She must have made an unhappy face because Stella began talking quickly.

  “Don’t get mad at him for gossiping, he was worried about you just like the rest of us. We’ve all suspected something, but obviously not to this extreme; although, now I understand why you act so differently with Kyle. It can’t be easy being around a firefighter.” Stella had it partially right, but her unease around Kyle these days had more to do with attraction than fear.

  “I don’t try to act differently with him, but if I do it has nothing to do with his occupation.” Stella and Vicki were like dogs that heard a high pitched noise. Lindsay laughed and was happy for the chance to lighten the mood.

  “Down girls, I think your tails are wagging.”

  Vicki smiled devilishly. “So why do you act differently with him, hmmm?”

  “I do not want to get into that with you two right now; between everything I just said and the vodka, I’m ready to pass out.” Lindsay had unloaded a lot of emotional baggage tonight and talking about Kyle would only drain her further.

  “Do you want one of us to stay here tonight?” It was a very sweet offer, but Lindsay shook her head.

  “No, I’m fine. I actually feel better than I have in a long time. Thank you both for listening.”

  “That’s what friends are for.” Stella gave her a hug and Vicki followed. “We will let you get to bed, but if you need anything call. I don’t care how late.”

  After they left, Lindsay changed into her pajamas and snuggled under her comforter. Telling Stella and Vicki about her past had been easier than she thought, but now came the really hard part. She had absolutely no idea what she was going to say to Kyle the next time she saw him.

  ****

  Chapter 7

  “I hope you know what you are doing.”

  “If this goes badly, I will take your warnings from last night and back off.” Kyle paced around Stella and Alex’s apartment last night for over an hour with no word from anyone. When the girls finally came back, they refused to tell him why she was upset. The only thing they said was all of their suspicions were true. Stella had even asked him if he was sure this is what he wanted.

  Duh, if he hadn’t been sure he would have left after the bar. But he had stuck around because he wanted to know that Lindsay was okay and wanted to show her she could count on him. Before he left the apartment last night, Kyle had discussed a plan with Stella and now he was putting it into action.

  “Well I just left so she is all alone; good luck.”

  “Thanks, I’m going to need it.” Kyle hung up the phone and threw it in the cup holder hanging from the dash; he had already stopped to pick up lunch and was getting closer to the studio. Stella was taking pictures at a wedding in Joliet this afternoon, so Lindsay was going to be alone the rest of the day.

  Kyle pulled his truck into the small parking lot behind Picture Perfect Studios a little after eleven. He took a moment to collect his thoughts, before reaching over to grab the bag of food he purchased a few minutes ago. Last night Stella informed him of Lindsay’s favorite place to buy lunch, so he stopped on the way and ordered exactly what he was told to.

  Kyle noticed that Lindsay’s old Chevy Impala was the only car in the lot as he made his way towards the door. This was the part he was the most worried about. He didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable being alone with him, but if they couldn’t get past this big hurdle they were doomed. He took another deep lungful of air and opened the door.

  “Welcome to Picture Per… what are you doing here?” Lindsay was sitting behind the reception desk with her face scrunched up in an adorably confused way.

  Ignoring that less than peppy hello, Kyle held up the bag of food and simply replied “Lunch.” Lindsay was now looking around the empty studio like she was trying to figure out who he was having lunch with.

  “Stella’s not here, she had a wedding to shoot in Joliet today.” Kyle couldn’t help himself as he let soft laughter slip past his lips. When Lindsay glared at him through narrowed eyes, he stopped.

  “Sorry, you’re just too funny. I came to have lunch with you. Stella told me last night she would be out around eleven, so I thought we could have lunch together.”

  “Oh” Was Lindsay’s only reply. Kyle had been to the studio enough times to know where the break room was, so instead of giving Lindsay time to make an excuse to get him out of there, he started walking toward the back.

  He walked at a leisurely pace, but on the inside he was a nervous wreck; that is until he could hear Lindsay’s heels clicking on the floor behind him. There was a small table in the break room, and he sat the bag down to start unloading the food.

  “What did you bring?” She didn’t sound frightened or pissed, but intrigued; thank God.

  “I stopped at Daisy’s and picked up pasta; pasta con broccoli without mushrooms, right?” Lindsay nodded and came to sit down at the table. Kyle handed her the pasta and she accepted it with a confused expression still on her pretty face. He pulled out garlic bread and sat it in the middle of the table, along with the salad. Kyle forgot drinks, so he went to the mini fridge and retrieved two bottles of water and passed one to Lindsay.

  “Thank you”

  “You’re welcome.” They were both quiet after that as they started eating, but Kyle didn’t mind. He had eaten about half of his spaghetti when he looked up and noticed Lindsay glancing at him. When their eyes connected, Kyle could see all the questions running through her mind.

  “Go ahead, ask me.”

  “Ask you what?”

  “Anything you want. You look like you have a million things on your mind right now.” Lindsay sat her fork down and leaned back in her chair studying him.

  “How did you know what I like for lunch?”

  “A little birdie told me.” She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest when he gave his answer.

  “Are you being obtuse on purpose?”

  “Maybe” this time she actually tried to kick his shin. He was faster than she was and scooted out of kicking range.

  “Grrr, why tell me to ask if you aren’t going to answer?” This i
s the Lindsay he knew; he loved seeing the feisty side in her come out.

  “I did answer, but if you must know the birdie’s name was Stella.” Kyle tried to hide his amusement as she relaxed back into her seat but left her arms crossed.

  “And you couldn’t ask me because…”

  “Because that would have given you the opportunity to say no” Kyle knew manipulating the situation could backfire, but after last night he really wanted to finish the conversation they started on the dance floor.

  “So you thought tricking me into having lunch with you was a good idea?” She was so serious as she asked that Kyle started to question his judgment, but when Lindsay cracked a small smile he sighed loudly.

  “That wasn’t very nice. Between you and Stella, I don’t know who’s trying to scare me more today.”

  “Why did Stella scare you?” She was leaning back in her chair still, but Kyle could see the tension in her body.

  “She was rambling on about last night and being careful; being same old overprotective Stella.” Lindsay’s face went from calm to angry faster than Kyle could blink.

  “So that’s what this is all about?” Lindsay stood up so fast her chair nearly flipped over. “Stella tells you about my horrible ex trying to kill me, and you decided to take pity on me. Well I have news for you Kyle Brady; I don’t want or need your pity.”

  Lindsay tried to storm past him, but Kyle reached out and grabbed her arm. When she flinched and brought one hand to cover her face, Kyle immediately dropped her arm and stepped back. She was shaking like a leaf and Kyle wished he could kick his own ass at that moment.

  “I’m so sorry, Lindsay. I didn’t mean to grab you like that. Damn it I don’t want to scare you, that’s not the kind of person I am. I just wanted to finish talking to you, and didn’t think before I acted. Please…” he tried speaking in a reassuring tone, “please look at me.” She moved her hand away from blocking her face, and was now rubbing it on her arm where his hand had been.